So many stupid things, Cyberboy

I have this idea for a song about a man who falls in love with his computer. It's called Cyberboy. Don't read too much into it. It's just an idea...I am not in love with my computer. Well, maybe in like with it.

So far I've only written an idea for the chorus. Here's a recording of it.

Today I woke up feeling shite. I discovered last night that when I bought a new piece of furniture from Ikea that comes in two boxes, I had plucked two box #2's from the shelf. Getting to Ikea is a major pain in the arse for me (no car, it's far away etc.) So now I have to find a way to schlep out there again with this 60lb box and exchange it. Poop.

This morning I ran errands in my grumpy mood and then my mom called. Thank goodness too. She let me bitch and moan a little to her and then told me I just have to roll with it. So I came home and spent 4 hours making music, which what I really needed to do. I recorded some live acoustic versions of my songs. I need to just keep the recording gear set up, so I can just sit down and record a tune. If I keep at it, maybe I'll throw together a little acoustic demo so I can play some shows. We'll see.

the grid

Do most people fantasize about getting off the grid? You know, just packing up and moving to some remote place -- a ranch or a cabin somewhere -- and living independant of the trappings of modern society? It seems like there's some evidence that this fantasy is embedded in the American psyche. Afterall, our country was founded by a set of folks with a similar idea.

Friend in town

My pal Daniel Goldsmith came through last night. He's back in North America following 10 months of travel abroad to Nepal, India, Croatia, Bosnia....the list goes on. I met him in a funny way. The day before I was leaving for a solo road trip to Quebec a couple summers ago I posted an ad on Craigslist to see if anyone wanted to ride up with me and split gas. He answered. I ended up spending a couple weeks with him and his girlfriend and going hiking in Mount Tremblant with him too. Anyway, he's just finished his 4 year degree at McGill in philosophy and is one of the most contemplative, open minded people I know. I really respect him for that. He's got a funny way of simultneously talking incessantly and listening deeply. It's terrific to be around such an active mind in pursuit of peace. He read to me a bit of the book he's working on, and I expect great things from him.

Hearing his tales really made me miss my life at 23 (he's that age too.) When i was 23 I was living in Paris. It wasn't perfect, but looking back now I have a pretty rosey view. I mean, i was pretty damn broke, but boy did I have time to relax and enjoy the free shit. I think I went to the Louvre a dozen times that year. And how many times did I spend the whole day in a cafe writing in my journal and sipping espresso? A zillion, that's how many. And dinner parties with friends. And struggling with the language. And getting shit faced on 10 franc wine (that's like $2). I still have the wanderlust, but it pretty completely supressed.

But I'm going to India this summer. So I hope that will satisfy some of my desire to see a bit more of the world and untether from this vantage point on reality.

Exhausted

Had trouble sleeping last night. Er, rather, I slept all through the night, but it was that low quality sleep on the edge of sleep. I think i was cold. I have been fighting the urge to nap all day.

I had a dream the other night about Reuben Stafford. A kid I went to elementary school with. I have almost no recollection of him except that maybe he vaguely bullied me when I was new to the school and later became my schoolyard friend. The dream wasn't vengefull, he just made a cameo appearance in a chair. He was saying something to me but I can't recall now what.

Tonight there's a party at the New School for our department head, who is leaving for sabatical. I'll go, and feel a bit like an imposter as I always do there. Some corporate dude who somehow got on the invite list. Maybe accidentally. But it will be fun to mingle a bit with the folks there and hear what they are thinking about.

"Work now; dream later."

I found myself writing that into a chat message to one of the guys on my team. Even within the prjects we do at our jobs we often have to push our dreams to some laterspace. Contend with urgent issues and let important things simmer on a back burner. Will I get to stir that pot of big ideas some time soon? Some time soon, I hope. Some time soon.

A new home for my thoughts

I finally got beaten down by the hand-roll. Sounds like an incident at a sushi restaurant, but really I just got tired of hand rolling my blog in Dreamweaver/Editpad. So here I am on Blogger.com getting a fresh start like the survivors of the first episode of Lost, which I watched the other night. Gripping stuff, really.

It would be really foolish to try to "catch up" from where I left off on the prior incarnation of my blog. But that won't stop me from posting a couple of recent happenings. Er, not so recent happenings.

I guess I could start off with where I finished my last job. I don't know if I ever mentioned it here, but I deployed a new press room capability for IBM and worked on perhaps my final annual report. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. There's the somewhat boring financial section (though I should note that this year I was asked to make a contribution to the content accompanying the Chairman's letter, which is quite an honor in my world.) And then there's the beautiful propaganda/marketing/messaging section, which is all about IBM as an innovation partner. I'm really pretty happy with how it turned out, especial this part about super computing (click the link in that big top image to view a cool little Flash movie about IBM's Mare Nostrum supercomputer).

So, after three years working in IBM's Strategic Communications department I was offered a new position at IBM as the editor in chief of the company's worldwide intranet. I agreed.

And so now I'm responsible for the editorial content on perhaps the world's best, most feature rich and cutting edge intranet. And I'm not just saying that to flatter IBM. It's pretty sweet. We have 330,000 readers to serve, and we're staffed pretty well to do it. There are dozens of writers, editors, information brokers and the like making sure that the right information gets to the right individuals at the right time. It's pretty amazing, and I'm flattered that I got the call to run the editorial. And so one month into the new gig I am trying to figure out how to try new ideas, make a difference, make my staff feel appreciated and somehow keep some semblance of a personal life going. It's going to be a year of big learning.

Speaking of personal life, in between the two jobs I managed to sneak away for a week to Costa Rica with Sarah. Much needed reprieve from NYC and I can't wait to get off of this island for a spell again. IBM is sending me to India at the beginning of June, so that'll be a head trip, but not quite the same thing as just vegging out at the pool, which was nice. The picture on the left is me jumping off a cliff. Luckily I had some rappelling gear.


Deep thoughts from the dumper
Why do I get depressed in the bathroom of my apartment? Probably because it is a sad little space. I mean, it is unique and oddly shaped, which might work in its favor. But it is depressing all the same because it is cramped and attched oddly to the rest of the world (and aren't we all?) by way of my kitchen and a window onto a rusted fire escape. The other night while I was in there I was trying to figure out why we are here. Not why we are in the bathroom, but rather, why are we living? I thought, perhaps it is to witness great art. In which case I am doing so-so.

Or maybe it's really all about creating great art. In which case I am not doing all that great right now. I have one newish song, called "Outerspace." Other than that, I have been in hiatus. Or as my friend Dr. Z said, I am letting the unexamined life take over.

It's impolitic to ruminate on my fantasies of running away because I know my colleagues at IBM read this now and again, but here's the truth: I fantasize about packing it all in and leaving NYC to go make art somewhere calm. But it's a pipe dream. (So don't start eyeing that stapler...it's mine, dammit!)

I want to make it work here. I have made it worked. I have made quite a great life -- and I did it on my own. And that's what I gotta focus on. Work, School, Music, Social life and relationships with people I care about. It's a lot to balance. Or rather, not balance. How can life be anything but life out of balance?

Life out of balance, yeah. KOYAANISQATSI